You tried to change, didn’t you? Closed your mouth more, tried to be softer, prettier, less volatile, less awake…You can’t make homes out of human beings. Someone should have already told you that.
Warsan Shire (via youngfolksociety)
i am skin
and bones -
vessels for feeling.
holding on to things that i should
and then out.
heaving heaviness into the earth.
pushing it back to where it came from.
and then putting one foot
in front of the other
and walking away.
like a cliche on the dusty road again.
and now, for my entire standup comedy routine, i’m going to read you other people’s online dating profiles.
This is my life. (For at least 40 hours a week.)
when she calls to tell you they are putting the dog down,
she is crying.
so you think about the day they brought him home
and all of the life that happened since then.
he had been bleeding all morning, she said.
that’s how they found him.
and when his cheeks puffed up like chipmunks they knew.
it was time.
his last car ride was to the vet
where a table or floor or something sterile would greet him.
they would probably hold his head in their hands, i imagined.
and whisper into his ears that they loved him.
and wonder, again, how a simple animal can bring such
a flood of regret
did we do everything?
does he know how much he means to us?
the weight of love is almost as heavy as
the pile of fur that will arrive, still
on sunday in the corner
where the light hits around 1 p.m.
it will be as if god is shining a spotlight
on what was.
until they bow to it.
armed with dustpan and broom.
cleaning the last bit of before
from what has become
you are a verb, fully conjugated.